Sleep Sleep Sleep
Friday went to watch movie alone, cause JUNHAO bluff me into waiting to go for his gems. End up the Gem lesson is CANCELLED!!! so i went to watch angels and demons, guess wat? i fell asleep while watching. KNNs. Saturday and Sunday sleeping at home whole day.. so bored!!!
Animal I Have Become
Animal I Have Become - 3 days grace
I can't escape this hell
So many times i've tried
But i'm still caged inside
Somebody get me through this nightmare
I can't control myself
So what if you can see the darkest side of me?
No one will ever change this animal I have become
Help me believe it's not the real me
Somebody help me tame this animal
(This animal, this animal)
I can't escape myself
(I can't escape myself)
So many times i've lied
(So many times i've lied)
But there's still rage inside
Somebody get me through this nightmare
I can't control myself
So what if you can see the darkest side of me?
No one will ever change this animal I have become
Help me believe it's not the real me
Somebody help me tame this animal I have become
Help me believe it's not the real me
Somebody help me tame this animal
Somebody help me through this nightmare
I can't control myself
Somebody wake me from this nightmare
I can't escape this hell
(This animal, this animal, this animal, this animal, this animal, this animal, this animal)
So what if you can see the darkest side of me?
No one will ever change this animal I have become
Help me believe it's not the real me
Somebody help me tame this animal I have become
Help me believe it's not the real me
Somebody help me tame this animal
(This animal I have become)>
Its Your Decision.
Regarding some matter few days back, but i decided to only blog it out now. U stay at the east , while i stay at ther west. I have actually decided not to have any more connection with PKSSS sunday school matters or people. but somehow only those handful of people i still say hi to and keep in contact. You are among one of them. But when u had ur baby, u seems happy enough having him. While on my hand i am busy with CCAs and studies, thus neglected u. As many people know, i don share my problems alot so when i have i don usually share. You used to share with me, i used to give u advice, but somehow its been turn on deaf ear. Well its ur choice and ur life afterall and u live it ur way i can't force u or control ur life. so i actually let u decide if u wan to still continue to treat me as ur elder brother and confide in me.
I've been tired recently, mentally. I trust nobody around me except Ever. But i still don share my problems with her. Ironic right? I can ask people to let go, forget the things that happened, drop the memories. But i can't do that myself. I can't help it whenever i see u with the freak. i do not know who you are in a relationship with, but i can't help it but to assume that freak is your date when u 2 are always tgt. Why a freak? WHY!?
She is afterall not the one i am looking for, she is just a object to allow me to shift my attention to. But it is gonna hurt alot of people if i continue on. When can i learn to fully let go?
Are my juniors gonna appreciate my time in going back to help out? Or am i thinking too highly of myself that i can still help them? I've lost touch in music since some time back, i've stop learning piano, flute or drum. though marching i can still manage abit.
APPI i tried to listen and do but i am kinda slow. Cause its a new topic!! CATL sucks cause lab arrangement is so bad that my back is facing the screen then teacher click something and i turn to my computer to click, she is already doing something else and i can't catch up. IT SUCKS TOTALLY!!! I try to study abit after school in the club, but i can't super stress..
Went to run, gym, swim. my body is so tense up now. Skating at night and i fell 3 times on the same spot with abrasion and of course bleeding.. Zaid is so kind enough to press on my wound and use it as a support for him to stand up.
somehow it hurts alot when i am bathing..
these few days i keep seeing alot of funny names appearing on name list in school. check them out.
Jordan Tan @ Tan Kun Feng? & Joseph S Rayan?
Ho Suk Tan Hokohing Hojofat????? WTF!?
and lastly Zu BO BO. LOL
Where is my confidence?
Recently somehow i lack confidence, feel that i am kinda useless. I wanted to study hard but i just get tempted by everything around me. I can't concentrate on studying. Even if i try to study, a little set back just stops me there. I get stuck in this question and i will just stop there. I think of possible ways to get the answer but i just can't get it right. I give up.
I promised Lawrence to help him kickstart his blogshop, but i myself is blocked up by so much stuffs, that i have been procrastinating things to do. i wan to study after school but i end up stressing myself up and rest, i wan to study at home and end up watching show. Hopefully i can rush things by this month.
U told me that confessing that i like someone is not shy or shameful, i confessed to u and began holding ur hand and we walk with our fingers locked tightly. But i woke up from the dream in the end. When i face u i just do not have the courage to tell u anything or to even hint u. I know i will regret if i don say, but i will also regret saying if i lose u. Do dream come true?
I do not have the courage to actually go back to SBM, i do not know why. Even the recent vesak day, i did not go back there. i do not know why i start to fear the place, i feel reluctant to visit the place though for 2 years i was very enthusiastic about going there. Is it a time for me to sit back and reflect on what i have done to myself?
recently the club have new members, The president did not discuss with us about the choosing of new commiette members, i dare not ask her about it or really let her know my displeasure about 2 member, whom few of us think that they can't commit themselves well. And just yesterday another friend of mine said something to me that i thought it was his fault, but i dunno why i don dare talk to him. Its his fault but i did not confront him but kept within myself.
Why do i lack so much confidence recently? what is the problem with me? I told myself that i am gonna work hard when i retained back in secondary 3. i wan to prove to the losers that they are gonna regret betraying their good friend for 3 years. i did it. its because of the fighting spirit that i landed myself in this state, a student studying for a Diploma in Aeronautical Engineering. But why have the fighting spirit flame extinguish? is it cause of all the friends and happenings around me?
I am afraid of failing? I can't take failure? I am afraid of losing? I can't accept loss? I am afraid of defeat? I can't accept defeat?
for 18 years i do not understand myself or i do not wan to understand myself or i do understand myself of what i want and am but run away from reality?
TIRED TIRED TIRED!!
Thursday i went for the Zouk party after school and it was kinda boring. went home with brendon. Its a long night chit chatting. We bus from zouk to jurong @ 12.30, upon reaching jurong we walk to bukit batok before cabbing home. I reached home at 2am.. By the time i sleep is 3am and i got to go school for lesson. 7am wake up for 9am class, i have a practical so i die die also cannot miss. Went to club to sleep for 1 hr plus before going to PKS to help lawrence work. 7pm work till 3am and went to sleep in the office. Snore till 3pm before i wake up to continue work. I got to sleep cause i need to help hiim close stall which means hard labour. carry all the stuffs back to ware house. 1hr plus to do all that. And a 3 meal course per person treat by lawrence. Super full.
Mas Selamat caught? Real or Fake? I don believe the news.
Like Old Times
Engineering Design with Mr Tan is always the most enjoyable lesson (so far). Catching small naps in between lessons and during lessons. Tired out. Met Kelvin Lee at CCK after dinner and we just lepak one side and chit chat. so much to catch up with each other. Its been long since i last saw PBT cliques too.. Shld crash school and go RP for lesson after the swine flu fever is over. Their school are more strict than SP..
Happy belated Zeyi, Sat i was at palawan but u all were at siloso..
Happy Birthday Peipei, Saw the date 5/5/2009 then remember ur blog link is this and its ur birthday..
Corny has been attacked
Like my title said Corny the white cat has been attacked at the neck. saw the small cut while feeding it just now. As usual impatient to feed on my snacks for him. I can't find Kinky anywhere today. Have it been attacked too?
Personal training today is rather tiring for me, i should plan a more neat workout to do next week. Gems boring, lessons boring everything is boring except PRACTICAL!!! It was just moment of fun though.
Slack in club to study.. Ivan is studying.
alvin was like " pigs can fly "
i replied " by adding eon behind "
alvin " pig-on?? "
Its spelled P-I-G-E-O-N Pigeon, a bird. haha. as usual his english CMI haha..
Ever you are as evil as ever!!!
Sentosa outing
Sean organised a outing for the freshies and Us. Like almost every week have a event (ENTHU CAMPERS) X) We sure have fun at the beach like doing backflips, inbetween, wrestling, PSP?? and chinese chess? hahaha.. yes somehow we ended up playing DJ max and chinese chess and poker at the beach. bury the birthday boy casper. Dinner and arcade at vivo was hilarious!!
Shop at candy empire and found really funny items. Junhao and Glendon bought a bottle of jelly beans each and Glendon end up finishing them on the journey back home cause we are trying every single flavour. Cinnamon sucks the most!! Kiwi is the best flavour.
My muscle aches alot now!!
I forgot to say sth. I actually overslept in the train last night when going home. WHY!? cause LJH nv wake me up till trains door close at YEWTEE!!
Saded
Its good friday today and i went studying.. how ironic for ivan to do so huh? Leona, amanda and keith decided to go vivo to shop so we did and spent some time there doing nth. And we spent alot of our time in the arcade at bugis and vivo. Its addictive.. Went to mount faber safra to play pool. teach the 2 girls how to play can really die of laughter. 1hr for 1game. LMAO!! went window shopping at thiong bahru plaza and my legs are so sore now..
Very sad. Kinky the stray cat at my void deck is ignoring me recently. it used to wait for me at the void deck in the morning at the same time for me to feed him. but recently he is not there, ytd when i was feeding him black and spotty came and share his food. gave the 2 cats some food and i think kinky thinks i don dote on him already. then he walk away. Just now, he ate his food halfway and walk away. Walk away when i went over to pat him a few times. Sad T.T
I just received a e-mail from youtube and i was like damn muted by it. they told me the band video i made for my band hand over ceremony contains a song call move along and its against some copyright thingy thus blocked by some country. which means to say my fellow juniors and singaporean can't appreciate the video i made. which i think singaporean's talent can't be appreciated and displayed on the web. Why can't they think it as free advertisment? or think it that someone actually appreciate the music and like the music thus using it in the video? If this thing is cencored or against some copyright thingy then i believe more than 80% of the videos in youtube is gonna be removed or block. wats wrong with them?
Your video, WSMB hoc Exclusive vid, may have audio content from Move Along by The All-American Rejects that is owned or licensed by UMG.
As a result, your video is blocked everywhere except in these locations:
American Samoa, Australia, Brazil, Canada, Christmas Island, Cocos (Keeling) Islands, Cuba, Fiji, France, Germany, Guam, Heard Island and McDonald Islands, India, Ireland, Israel, Italy, Japan, Kiribati, Mexico, Nauru, Netherlands, New Zealand, Niue, Norfolk Island, Northern Mariana Islands, Papua New Guinea, Puerto Rico, Solomon Islands, South Korea, Spain, Tokelau, Tonga, Tuvalu, United Kingdom, United States, United States Virgin Islands, Vanuatu
What should I do?
No action is required on your part. In some cases ads may appear next to your video. If you want to make your video available globally you can use AudioSwap to replace the audio in your video with a track from our library of pre-licensed songs.
Under certain circumstances, you may dispute the copyright claim from UMG. These may be any of the following:
- the content is mistakenly identified and is actually completely your original creation;
- you believe your use does not infringe copyright (e.g. it is fair use under US law);
- you are actually licensed by the owner to use this content.
Jordan Tan @ Tan Kun Feng? & Joseph S Rayan?
Ho Suk Tan Hokohing Hojofat????? WTF!?
and lastly Zu BO BO. LOL