Someone please tell me, do you like the current Ivan now? the way he behaves, acts, talk, joke. whatever it is. You like? is his behaviour acceptable? Is this attitude and behaviour the real me?
I seriously don understand what is wrong with me now. My mind is like in a turbulence state. Is the surrounding and other people affecting the way i react and think?
Or is it i am trying too hard to be someone which is not me? Am i that hard to understand? Or i don even know who i am, i don understand who i am.
am i trying very hard to get something or achieve something which i know its impossible to get? Which is why i am so stress and depress? why i always can't get what i wan but getting things that i don wish for?
i lived my life for more than 18 years but i dunno who i am, i dunno why i am walking this path. why am i living my life. who am i living it for. WHO AM I LIVING MY LIFE FOR? who.
I don't feel like doing anything except sitting in a middle of a pouring rain and cry out. YES now. 1.13am. yes i wan to be sitting in the rain and sleep till the next day. i want it badly.
